September 1, 2007
More Conversational Icebreakers: Occupational 20 Questions and Website Poll
Occupational 20 Questions
Even I'm strongly committed to finding alternatives to asking strangers what they do for a living, I've found occupational 20 questions is good and somehow less offensive way to kill time at parties. You can even get to know something about the person you're talking to without feeling all awkward, and it's a game that requires that you not know the person you're playing with. I've bragged more than once that the first time I played this game, I guessed "youth pastor" correctly after 17 questions! Sadly, ever since that early victory, I don't think I've guessed correctly once. I keep getting stumped by answers like, "legal copying manager"! But I'm a lot better at inventing games than playing them, so probably you'll do a lot better.
Here are some good questions to get the ball rolling:
- Are you a web developer?
- Do you spend most of your time indoors?
- Did you have to have special training to get your job?
- Do you work with children?
Note: it's not really "cool" to ask things like, "do you make more than $50k a year?"
What Are the First Three Websites You Look at Everyday?
This question is becoming less relevent as more people use RSS feeds, but even so, I still tend to favor clicking on my RSS links in a particular order. It's a question that only works for people who spend a lot of time clicking on things, obviously.
(I'm putting common answers below the fold so you can think about your answer without being influenced)
(p.s. photo is a farm display made up primarily of grains and legumes from the Wahkiakum County Fair, which was excellent.)
- Weather.com
- CNN, NYT
- Google Analytics
- Craigslist
- Woot.com
- Boingboing
- "What do you stand for?" -- could be sort of a challenge for a lot of people!
- "What are your weekend plans?" -- I kind of like this one, because you could plan for just about anything (trip to Paris, running a marathon, etc.), although it's sister-question, "what did you do this weekend?" can be kind of a downer to answer when all you did was pull weeds and watch TV.
- "Who did you come here with?" -- This one was offered by the woman doing my hair. She uses it at parties to figure out if someone is single. I guess it's fine -- a little social-networkee, for my tastes.
- Here's a collection of options offered by a professional, including "tell me about your kids" -- the problem is, I don't know if I'd actually want to hear any of the answers to these. Not that I don't like other people's kids -- I usually enjoy them -- but hearing parents talk about them? -- it's like dancing about architecture (I'm not really sure what I mean by that).
- "If you could be any animal, what would it be and why?" -- I like this one.
- You could use my Food quiz for the future.
- "If mankind goes extinct, which species do you think will rise up to replace us?" -- I love this one and I made it up. I haven't used it more than once, on an older guy I met in the airport who wouldn't shut up about how the idea that people cause global warming was a myth and we were kind of doomed. His theory: cockroaches. My theory? Ants.
Posted by mary at 8:03 AM | Comments (0)
July 4, 2007
Alternatives to "What do you do?" as conversation starters
When you first meet someone and are making chit-chat (e.g., getting your hair cut, at a professional party, or a party where you don't know anyone, a bus stop, dog park, etc.), what would you rather be asked (and/or what do you ask)?
1) What do you do?
2) Where are you from?
3) Something else? (and if so ... what?)
I try not to ask "what do you do?" since I feel like it hones in on class issues immediately and is, for that reason, kind of rude. I figure if people love their jobs or identify with them strongly, they'll tell me about them eventually, and if not, why should I care? Probably they have something more interesting to talk about. I gather it's considered a rude question in some other countries, and it has inspired some to develop alternative answers, as well as some ranting.
This could lead to a kind of politeness stand off if I'm talking to someone who is really proud of what they do, or has a high-status position but they don't want to seem like self-promoting jerks, but there's room for finessing. I'll ask someone what they do for money eventually if I feel comfortable with them, and I just find I'm dying to know for some reason. Although I did ask someone the other night and immediately regretted it because the response was semi-self-deprecating comments along the lines of: "nothing ... live off my wife ..."
"Where are you from?" used to be my stand by replacement for "what do you do" when I lived in Ann Arbor. None of us were from there -- we were all there for the same reason, doing the same thing (and there, "what's your field?" or "where did you do undergrad?" were the equivalent of "what do you do?").
But now that I'm back in my home town, I find this question a little bit touchy, too. A lot of the people I meet aren't from here, originally, and this makes me feel both proud and a little bit lonely, and I have a lot of friends from California for whom the question seems like kind of a challenge to justify themselves. And then there's local politics regarding exactly where in Portland you live. Anyway, point is, being local makes the question a lot more complicated and I don't really ask that one anymore, either.
This leaves me stuck for an ice-breaker question and lately, my ice-breaker question has been the one I'm posing here in this post.
Responses so far have ranged from: "you think about this stuff too much" to, "I hate it when people ask me that, too!" but I haven't collected a ton of usable alternatives -- here are a couple, anyway, from the web and elsewhere. Suggestions appreciated!
Well, in any case, Happy 4th of July!
Posted by mary at 8:09 AM | Comments (1)
August 4, 2006
Sandra's Light Bulb X-Mass Tree Ornament Exchange Party
Sister Sandra wrote in with this terrific idea:
"For x-mas we can have a recycled light bulb making party where everyone brings their incandescent light bulbs to the party where we turn them into xmass tree ornaments and give everyone a CFL in exchange! I bet we could get a reasonable price on CFL's if we buy them at costco. We would also have to educate people on how to dispose of their CFLs when they are done (after 10 years)."
Even if my logo will be made obsolete by this trend (btw: how did people represent people getting ideas in cartoons before there was electricity??), I think it's a small price to pay, and that this idea is pure, glowing brilliance! It reminds me of the Birds for Bulbs site that Justin recently pointed me to.
Let's actually do this one, eh? Maybe I can give out special "Mary's Great Ideas" light bulb head dolls, too.
Posted by mary at 9:10 AM | Comments (2)
February 1, 2005
Surprise Party Planners
We really surprised Betsy on Saturday at her birthday party! It was awesome. Sandra and Peter and Duncan were here from the East coast and everything. Right before this picture was taken Woody had told Betsy that Porter had built a fort behind the closed pocket doors. When he flung them open it was a room full of about 40 people who all yelled: "SURPRISE!!" or maybe they said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" I don't remember -- I was walking in with Betsy, so I didn't say anything.
Anyway, it was the greatest. I've wanted to have a surprise party for a long time -- for myself, I mean. But, like so many things in life, it doesn't seem to be happening spontaneously, which makes me think I've got to make it happen.
Wouldn't it be great if you could hire someone to throw a surprise party for you? Your own Surprise Party Planner?
You'd give them your address book and a bunch of money and say: surprise me sometime in the next 6 months (or whatever time period made sense). They'd work closely with all your friends, get a cake, some balloons, maybe a monkey or two. And then! When you least expected it: Whammo!!! SURPRISE!!!
Now, some people might say, that this misses the whole point of a surprise party as a more-or-less spontaneous show of affection by all your friends. To that I say: pshaw. The whole point of our economy is that you can buy anything, even surprises. And pretty much anything is better, in my opinion, when it's a surprise.
Posted by mary at 2:20 PM | Comments (1)
Surprise Party Planners
We really surprised Betsy on Saturday at her birthday party! It was awesome. Sandra and Peter and Duncan were here from the East coast and everything. Right before this picture was taken Woody had told Betsy that Porter had built a fort behind the closed pocket doors. When he flung them open it was a room full of about 40 people who all yelled: "SURPRISE!!" or maybe they said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" I don't remember -- I was walking in with Betsy, so I didn't say anything.
Anyway, it was the greatest. I've wanted to have a surprise party for a long time -- for myself, I mean. But, like so many things in life, it doesn't seem to be happening spontaneously, which makes me think I've got to make it happen.
Wouldn't it be great if you could hire someone to throw a surprise party for you? Your own Surprise Party Planner?
You'd give them your address book and a bunch of money and say: surprise me sometime in the next 6 months (or whatever time period made sense). They'd work closely with all your friends, get a cake, some balloons, maybe a monkey or two. And then! When you least expected it: Whammo!!! SURPRISE!!!
Now, some people might say, that this misses the whole point of a surprise party as a more-or-less spontaneous show of affection by all your friends. To that I say: pshaw. The whole point of our economy is that you can buy anything, even surprises. And pretty much anything is better, in my opinion, when it's a surprise.
Posted by mary at 2:20 PM | Comments (1)