January 16, 2005

H&R Block gets into the gambling game

H&R Block has gotten in the game -- it's like they've been reading my blog

Posted by mary at 2:11 PM

December 28, 2004

Make Paying Taxes More Like Gambling in Vegas

I've been trying to organize a personal moral crusade against gambling for a couple of years now, like a new prohibition. It's difficult, because most people I know regard gambling as harmless fun and I'm someone who generally has a hard time mustering up a lot of moral outrage and disapproval -- except, I guess, towards hummers and war and things like that -- but not towards supposedly sinful things like sex and drugs, unless they seem exceptionally seedy or harmful. But I didn't really have a knee jerk reaction to gambling at the outset. But intellectually, or maybe politically, I think gambling needs to have the kind of disapproval shown towards it that the antidrug people want us to feel towards pot smoking. (Not that their crusades are really working, but I admire their efforts at one level, if only because of their PR gumption and zeal.) Because if it's cool for some people who can afford it to engage in gambling for the hell of it, and they make it look cool, then it's just that much easier for people who can't afford it to wish they could and maybe do it anyway. I think I should start shooting people dirty and disapproving looks when they talk about how much fun Vegas is, although, frankly, my heart's not really in it -- I just think it should be. I guess I should see some numbers on how effective those antidrug campaigns are before I assume that social disapproval does anything.

Anyway, this campaign isn't really going anywhere, but my point is, I think gambling, particularly in the form of video poker and scratch and sniffs and what have you, is totally out of hand, and it's completely disgusting to me to see Oregon come to rely so heavily on lottery dollars for key things like education. Plus, half the bars and restaurants in St. Johns seem to rely on lottery activities exclusively to keep from going under and it's just gross sitting there watching people throw their money away, especially since you can still smoke in bars and restaurants in oregon and the gamblers smoke an extra lot. It really doesn't look like any fun at all.

But all that having been said, as an alternative to banning gambling and creating an actually fair and reasonable tax base for things like education and health care and law enforcement, etc. maybe the IRS and the states should make paying taxes itself more like gambling. If state-sanctioned gambling is supposed to be such a great form of revenue, and people hate paying their taxes so much, why not just cut out the regular taxes entirely and turn it into some kind of hedonistic fun-fest?

I envision a huge, gaudy casino set up in the state capital -- here, that would mean lovely Salem (which could also use a boost, I think). Each citizen over the age of 18 would be required to go to Salem every year sometime in the last quarter before April 15th and would be required to spend some minimum amount while there gambling. Maybe they'd be required to spend the night in the huge state-run hotel, too. To encourage people gambling more than the minimum amount, there would be free drinks and food and fabulous prizes. Maybe not cash prizes, because that would defeat the purpose, but maybe things like a special pass at the DMV so you don't have to wait in line, or a coupon for the pothole of your choice to be filled, or a police officer's direct cell phone number, or a free immunization or flue shot. Or maybe we could have cash prizes, too -- it seems to work for the casinos -- so that there would be at least a chance that you might leave with a bunch of cash.

Susan S. didn't like this idea because it would put a lot of accountants out of work, but having seen how much accountants enjoy blackjack, I'm betting some of them would make pretty good dealers and they would look cute in those little outfits the dealers wear. I'll bet it would be even more fun than being an accountant.

Posted by mary at 1:43 PM | Comments (1)