Things I Keep in My Car

I was in the parking lot at Home Depot the other day and had a flash of self-satisfaction at the things I had in my car:

• ancient iPod Nano -- not worth stealing (I hope)
• quince (from my mom's tree, for the fresh scent, naturally)
• back scratcher -- especially for those long drives (I use it a LOT!)
• Whoopie cushion -- you know, for hitchhikers
• iPhone adapter (in case the Nano runs out of batteries)
• inspirational Tarot card
• rubber beetle
• ecdysiast button -- this just appeared in my car one day -- I think it might have been left there by a hitchhiker.

Not pictured: napkins, flashlight, screwdriver, electrical tape, hose clamp, rubber belt of some kind (like I'd know what to do with it if I needed it), pens, maps, rags, extra oil, tire gauge, dirt. What I don't have, but should: flares, fire extinguisher, first aid kit, money.