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March 22, 2007

Some Thoughts on Dante's Inferno

After Dore, Virgil reproves Dante's Curiosity.

After Dore The Thieves tortured by Serpents.

I loved Dante's Inferno when I was a kid. Who didn't, right?!

At my request, Terry sent me these pictures of this Ukrainian Easter egg I made based on the Dore's illustrations of the Inferno when I was 11 or 12. I love the way Terry's pictures make my egg look like a Grecian urn. Not to toot my own egg-making horn too much, but I was also very proud of a leviathan egg I made a couple of years ago at Amy's house. She kept the egg, though, and I don't have a picture.

Anyway, given my interest in the Inferno, I was particularly interested to read about Sandow Birk's film interpretation of the Dante's Inferno. I was following a BoingBoing link about Birk's fantasy paintings of the Iraq War. I was also intrigued by the beautiful paintings of prisons -- maybe he'll do Superfunds next? And Susan S. may appreciate (as do I) his interpretation of the raft of the Medusa. (Incidentally, I think that painting is the only one I really remember seeing while visiting the Louvre. I'd never seen it before, and very rarely remember what I see at Great Museums, but this one, I remember. It's BIG!)

Disaster art is pretty interesting, I have to admit, but is not to be confused with Art Disasters. And actually, I can't think of other works of art commemorating disasters, but I know there must be a million of them -- including lots of shipwrecks. Maybe my readers can think of some.

I started wondering about the presence of the Divine Comedy on the internet, and found this site from U. Texas, which has some nice features, including audio.

(I note that U. Texas is also known as the site for the other Mary Wheeler whom I recently have topped in google rankings to become the number one Mary Wheeler! Take that, Mary Fannett. Given that her website was last updated in August of 1999, the accomplishment may not seem that impressive, but given that she seems to have actually done something with her life, maybe it is. *Update*: She's now back to #1. I'm thinking maybe it's because I linked to her, so I removed my link.)

I'm not sure who ever really reads the rest of the Divine Comedy (Paradiso? snore! And double snore for Purgatory) but it's available -- be sure to check out the Finnish version!

I like this Gilligan theory of the Seven Deadly Sins which concludes: "Gilligan is SATAN."

I think I'd probably enjoy playing the Dante's Inferno Game, although it does look fairly complicated.

Here are the results of my Dante's Inferno Test (I'm not sure how I got such a high score for "violent" but otherwise the results seem spot on):

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test.

Posted by mary at 11:09 PM | Comments (1)

American Inventor TV Auditions Happening Again

They are having auditions in San Francisco this weekend. I'm kind of sad that I won't be going, especially now that I've heard that George Foreman is going to be one of the judges. I think I could get some mileage with him with the Wondue Crock.

Anyway, good luck to everyone going! You might find this account of my American inventor audition helpful -- and here are some other accounts, and here's pretty much everything I've had to say on the topic (including pictures of my "appearance" on the show!).

At the very least, be prepared to wait a long time, bring some snacks, and try to cry if they ask you what your invention means to you!

Posted by mary at 11:14 AM | Comments (0)

March 19, 2007

Car and Bathroom Alarms

I was driving home from The Dalles last night and as I got about a mile away from home, that old factoid about most accidents happening a mile away from home occurred to me. My first thought was that I should drive more carefully.

My second thought was: automakers should use GPS technology to instill an alarm in your car that would go off as soon as you were within a mile from home.

Since some accident statistics break things down with statements like, "Another third of car accidents take place within five miles of the home, and an incredible eighty percent of auto accidents take place within 20 minutes drive of the home base," there would be various levels of alarm.

When you were 20 minutes away, it would say: "Proceed with caution. You are 20 minutes from home."

When you were 1 mile away, it would say: "DANGER!!! DANGER!!! ENTERING CRITICAL ZONE!!!" or something.

I generally think engineers are missing some great opportunities for more interesting automobile applications.

Still in the car, I also started thinking about how the bathroom was supposed to be the most dangerous room in the house. (As it turns out, I'm wrong about that -- it seems that it's considered the second most dangerous, after the kitchen, but in any case ...). So this made me think that maybe there should be a motion-sensor alarm in the bathroom that would warn you: "BE CAREFUL!! YOU ARE ENTERING THE [SECOND] MOST DANGEROUS ROOM IN THE HOUSE!!! DON'T SLIP!! DON'T FALL!! WATCH OUT FOR HARD SURFACES AND WATER!!!" etc.

I was so delighted with my ideas that I reached into my bag and got a pen so I could write them on my handster while driving 50 miles an hour down Portland Road.

Posted by mary at 9:55 AM | Comments (1)

March 13, 2007

Short-Term Food Cart Rentals

Don't we all have a great idea for a food to sell from a cart?

Mine is bacon. You can take a strip of crisp bacon and wrap the end in a little bit of foil or napkin and you don't even need a stick. It's the perfect "to go" food in these carb-phobic times. Plus, it's delicious. My bacon booth would have all kinds of bacon. Since August, I've been the lucky recipient of a Bacon of the Month club subscription, thanks to Dave, Melissa and Amy, so I have some sense of the range of bacon flavors out there. And I'd have some dipping sauces, too: maple syrup, ranch, ketchup. Tell me you're not drooling just thinking about it.

Justin and Erin and friends had the idea for an okonomiyaki or Japanese pancake cart. I think that would be delicious. Okonomiyaki combines some of my favorite foods like shrimp, bacon, mayonnaise, mustard, cabbage, and fry. I would drive halfway across town for that, even if I had to eat it in a Walgreen's parking lot.

In the past I've thought of: savory ice cream carts, dumpling carts (all kinds of dumplings, from pot stickers to apple), potato carts (just boiled potatoes -- but cheap!), and a raw-food cart that served cut up vegetables which would double as a produce cart. All of them, I'm convinced, could be money makers.

But that's what everyone who's ever conceived of a food cart thinks.

So, here is where the real money comes in: renting a food cart on a short-term basis for large sums to people who have a delusions about the amount of money they'd make with their own food cart.

You'd want to have a good, busy corner or maybe at the Saturday Market. And then for a day at a time, you'd rent it out for maybe $300 a day or something to poor suckers who thought they really had something. And, honestly, $300 isn't that much to spend to have a dream crushed. Indeed, it's a bargain! That way, they could get it out of their system without having to make a huge investment.

And every once in awhile you'd have a success -- like savory waffles -- that would demonstrate that the whole thing was worth while. It would kind of be like a reality show, only much, much slower.

And for the customers, it would be great -- you'd never know what you'd get. Some days it would be terrible, some days awesome, but it would always be different.

There are some health code issues to be resolved, but those are technical details.

Posted by mary at 9:40 PM | Comments (2)

March 6, 2007

University of Portland Superfund Balloon

When I can't find time to blog about anything else, I can always blog the Superfund Site!

Last weekend I was charmed to see this purple balloon sitting among the blackberry brambles. Up on the bluff, there were a lot of people making noise, so I assume there was some kind of festivity going on at UP which resulted in purple balloons being sent willy-nilly across the landscape.

It seemed not only nicely incongruous (as so many things do at the Superfund Site), but nicely symbolic of the University of Portland's planned purchase of the property.

As a neighbor, I truly hope it happens. I can think of no better steward of the place, given their proximity, and especially after hearing their interest in the property couched in terms of the Pastoral Letter. There are plenty of reasons to be cynical about universities as property owners. And I've never noticed UP as a particularly community-oriented institution. Indeed, in the 20 some years that I've lived in North Portland, I've barely noticed them, beyond the marvelous dog walk opportunities on campus among the students, and a one-time visit to my neighborhood association by one of their community outreach staff (they may well have visited more often -- I don't go that often myself -- but it felt like a new thing when I did see them).

However, I have to believe that their commitment to the values set out in the Pastoral Letter are sincere, and I think this is the best opportunity for us as neighbors to have access to the property, as well as an opportunity for UP to engage its neighborhood.

I'm totally confused by the state of affairs recently -- Zeidell wants to maintain moorage as part of the land deal, and UP is suing him over it because I think he added the moorage at the 11th hour? And I haven't seen much about it in the news lately, but I may have missed something (and goodness knows that OregonLive isn't going to help me search).

In any case, I really hope it works out. Even if it meant fewer off leash walks for me and Pica, I think it could be a nice contribution to the neighborhood, especially the North Portland Greenway.

Posted by mary at 11:06 PM | Comments (1)