July 2006 Archives

Nat and I went to the Washington County Fair on Sunday. It was fun. The best part (besides all the animals large and small) was the Dock Dogs competition which you've probably seen on ESPN 12 or Animal Planet or something. They seem to be heavily marketing themselves (it's always weird to me when someone invents a sport and then gets busy trying to sell it). I didn't get any pictures of the dogs "catching big air" (or whatever pseudo sports colloquialism they are trying to get us to use), but there were some flying motorcycles in the demolition derby arena next door. There was at least one kid in the crowd who was like, "screw the dogs -- I want to watch the machines!!"

Update

Nat shared with me this morning this very nice haiku inspired by our trip:

how can a collie
launch herself twenty-two feet
and land like a swan? --

Which reminds me of when I decided to write all the thank you notes for my wedding presents in haiku. I made it through about 5 I think before giving up.

Between us, Nat and I had:

• Three corn dogs
• One elephant ear
• One asparagus tamale (not deep fried, but extra tasty)
• One funnel cake
• Several liters of lime/lemon-aide (also not deep fried)

Once, about ten years ago, I told Shane that something was really good by saying it was, "like pussy on a stick!" a phrase that, at the time, I thought I'd invented, but of course the internet has outpaced me. I see at least once nice alternate meaning. It looks like (google it yourself) the another popular meaning has to do with transexuals or drag queens.

I asked the vendors "what's a pork chop on a stick look like?" and they showed me. Just what it sounds like, as it turns out. Yummmy?

More stick food!! And fast service, too!

Here's another kind of hand-dipped dog -- Pica dipped herself in the mud of the Columbia Slough.

If I had a pet grooming place, I'd hold a Dirty Dog Photo Contest for my clients. Sure, some would cheat and cover their dog with whipped cream or whatever, but it would still be fun.

I have a lot of pictures of Pica looking filthy. Something about when she's all covered with smut makes me grab for my camera.

Here is an old picture of Jower's from this year's St. Johns Parade. I forget who the marching band was. Jower's has been owned by the same Chinese American family for like a 100 years or something, but is closing and changing hands soon. Jim had a great idea to turn Jowers into a museum of working class history. And the museum store would sell Carhartts, just like Jower's does now (it's a work clothes store). I thought that was a great idea (TM), but something else is going on with Jower's now. I forget what -- not a museum, though. Probably condos.

BTW, WTF is up with the Willamette Week? Maybe getting the ass-kicking their photographer got is exacerbating out their class prejudices? First the idiotic story on "the most dangerous 'hood in Portland" (two phrases I really hate are "'hood" and "NoPo" -- I read somewhere recently that "NoPo" means, "No Poor People" which kind of sums up my sense of it as part of the vocabulary of gentrification -- and when our neighborhood watch met, the cop who came to lecture us kept referring to our neighborhood as the "'hood" -- he was really eager to get home to Vancouver) and now this story on River Rats -- here's a choice selection from the latter:

"On rafts and drift boats, inner tubes and air mattresses, the great blue-collar tide washes up onto the beach (or hikes in from the Columbia River Highway). They come equipped with boom boxes, cell phones, coolers, deck chairs, beer, chips, dogs and barbecues—and leave behind a swath of broken bottles, plastic bags, cigarette butts and human waste."

Lygate does make the point somewhere in his article that not everyone who is blue collar (or immigrant, the other demographic he points out recreates on the Sandy) shits on the beach, and I'm not saying he shouldn't make references to class, but the overall message of the article is pretty offensive, especially on the heels of the other article. Almost as bad as the continuous references to "White Trash" in the Mercury, which I stopped reading last year for that reason (that, and it had no content to speak of).

I guess I'd better escape into some office AC -- I'm getting too het up.

BTW: One nice thing about the Sandy River article: there's a handy chart of good swimming holes attached!

Ugh! It's been ultra plus hot around here -- 100+ yesterday. 100+ today. This inspired me to do several things:

1) Buy a new fridge*

2) Start going to the gym again (there's nothing like 100+ degree weather to make you unpleasantly aware of your body)

3) Re-watch the "Lord of the Rings" from the relative comfort of my semi-air conditioned living room (Chris was right: it's too hot for outdoor movies).

Which made me think: Wouldn't it be great if you could combine some of these activities? I mean, I assume there are gyms where you can shop online from the virtuous stirrups of your elliptical machine, and ones where you can watch videos, but what I'd really like is Genre Gyms, where you could immerse yourself in the cooling, soothing worlds of sci-fi fantasy, high seas adventures, or even westerns. For one thing, it would make the outfits a lot more interesting. Most gyms seem to the aesthetics of action/adventure, which is dull and unflattering for many of us. I'd like to see more people lifting weights in period costumes. And I think it would be adapted quickly, since the gym already requires a serious suspension of inhibitions (and I already feel like I'm playing a part when I go to the gym -- that of someone who works out.). If they can make gyms especially for women, why not gyms just for Trekkies?

I think there needs to be more role playing and costuming in real life in general, and Justin agreed, and added the following idea, which is:

Costume party restaurants. I gather from Justin that there are places in Japan where you can rent costumes and dress up and take your picture (maybe like boudouir photography? or when you go to the carnival and they take your picture in a wild west outfit?), and his innovation is that you could do that and have dinner. It sounds kind of like a more paticipatory form of Medieval Times -- in other words, awesome!!

*My path to a new fridge actually went like this:

1) Watch "An Inconvenient Truth",
2) Feel guilty and want to do the easiest thing I can think of to assuage that guilt: buy things (in particular, to replace my 20+ year old refrigerator and car),
3) Realize there's no way I can afford to buy a new car, mull over the possibilities for several weeks, obsess over Sears website, and finally, in the middle of a big heat wave, go to air conditioned mall, and buy a new fridge.

Actually, first we went to Standard, since I kind of like getting a little worked over by sales people before I make a big purchase -- like a consumer's rolfing.

(BTW, I couldn't believe that I was the only one at Cheese Club the other night to have seen "An Inconvenient Truth." Democratic politics + Apple software + Doomsday scenarios = What's not to rush to the theaters to see?? I assume everyone's seen the Spike Jonze video by now and can't wait to cast their vote for Gore, but it's no substitute for the power Keynote show Gore puts on -- really! I enjoyed it!).

Anyway, back to the refrigerator: I'm very happy with my purchase, and give great thanks Sandra, Chris and Terry for helping me through the process. Not to mention Joseph, the kid at Sears who was endlessly patient and actually understood how the Oregon Energy Tax Credit works.

(I've decided I want to do all my shopping -- especially clothes -- at Sears and The Vermont Country Store from here on out .)

So, the fridge: I got a 19 cubic foot fridge that uses 387 KwH a year, which is the lowest KwH fridge eligible for the Oregon Department of Energy $50 tax credit with the exception of the survivalist - armageddon's - coming - power - it - with - your - own - human - propane Sunfrost, which gets 250 KwH, and that's for a smaller fridge (14.31 cubic feet). And the one I got was on sale. And it was 10% off the sale price on Saturday only for some reason. And delivery was free. So it was quite a bit less than the online price. So congratulate me on successfully gaming the system. The new fridge will arrive on Tuesday. It comes complete with several features that I don't plan on using (ice maker, water dispenser) and "Ultra Fresh® system w/Surround Cool™ technolo[gy]" W00T!

My other energy-saving efforts have included line-drying my clothes (I haven't used the dryer for quite some time! the clothes line is awesome!!) and turning off the TiVo since I cancelled the cable and so what's the point. Baby steps, baby, baby steps. Oh, also, I've been riding my bike into St. Johns and to the gym, but not the office yet because I'm scared of the I-5 bridge on a one speed. And washing certain things in cold water.

Finally: It's too hot for a chinchila in my house, but I do wish I could have one as a pet. I saw one at PetCo today. They are flat out adorable.

Update
Here's more exciting refrigerator energy information -- very comprehensive! And Grist weighs in on the top freezer versus bottom freezer controversy. I understand why, on scientific principal, bottom freezers should be more effecient than top freezer, but I have yet to see a bottom freezer fridge with better KwH ratings than the equivalent top freezer -- not sure why that is. (This article doesn't explain it, either.)

Someone left me a nice comment awhile ago:

"You can't spell 'dreamy' without the letters M, A, R, and Y"

Which made me think, what a great pick up line! So flexible. Just take a flattering adjective that contains the letters of someone's name. Maybe it's an old line, maybe people are reading about it and using it to mash on bloggers all over the place, but it was new to me, and I decided to try it out on some friends.

Here's what I've come up with so far:*

You can't spell, "hale and tan" without the letters N, A, T, H, A, N, I, E and L!

You can't spell "brine" without the letters E, R, I and N!

You can't spell, "cherish port" without the letters C, H, R, I, S, T, O, P, H, E, and R!

You can't spell, "male sis" without the letters M, E, L, I, S, S, and A!

You can't spell, "wet priests" without the letters P, E, T, E and R!

You can't spell, "justice nap" without the letters, J, U, S, T, I and N!

You can't spell, "ass nut" without the letters, S, U, S, A and N!

You can't spell ... well, you get the idea. Sorry I don't have time to do everyone's name -- but feel free to add your own!

*I have to admit, I used an anagram generator in some cases; can you tell? What's a semi-anagram called, anyway? You know, where some, but not all of the letters are included?

Justin pointed me to Millions of Hundred Dollar Ideas the other day as my internet doppelganger. At first I felt threatened (they're on my turf, man! I OWN the "idea" word space!), then I was impressed (what an incredible representation of the idea process!), then I felt threatened again (MoHDI's Gizmodo finalist status makes me feel like my "American Inventor" appearance was a joke!), and now it turns out at least one of them really IS my doppelganger. He lives in Portland. He was born on 7/17/77 (I was born on 8/17/67 -- 28 more shopping days!!). My mind is reeling!! I must destroy these people!!! Or befriend them! Or both!

So, I was trying to think of the best way to "serve" (as the kids say) these newcomers to the idea game, and here's what I came up with:

I'm going to challenge them to a duel of wits in something I am calling "Great Hundred Dollar Idea Pictionary" for now. It needs some refinement, which maybe the MoHDI posse can provide, if they think they are so smart.

The concept is based on pictionary, only instead of drawing some word or something that you pull out of a hat or whatever, you draw some idea that you pull out of your ass. And people have to guess what the invention is just from your sketching it - you know, like pictionary.

The thing is, I don't know if maybe what you'd pull out of the hat might be a problem or something that the other team had identified? Or if you, as the player, have to come up with the problem and the solution all in one play? The thing is, the most important part of any idea is identifying (or inventing) the problem your idea solves, but that can be time consuming, chancy, or just plain hard. So, I'm slightly intimidated by my own terrifying challenge. But the Gods love hubris. So I'm going to go comment on their blog right now. Wish me luck!!!

Cheese Club met yesterday (purely by coincidence, on the eve of the meeting of the American Cheese Society's 23rd Annual Conference, held here in Portland!). We decided to focus on French cheese and we ended up with 9 cheeses to taste:

• Laguiole
• Camembert
• Cambozola Blue (note: not a French cheese, and came from Trader Joes, but extra super delicious)
• Fromage D'Affinois
• Bucheron
• Pont l'Eveque(I think this was the extra stinky one that the flies loved so much)
• Pyrenees Peppercorn
• Chaumes (which looks like and is apparently related to Munster
• Fourme d'Ambort

First we had some French 75s. Justin and Erin produced some nice rating sheets (an iTunes screen). We ate a lot of cheese.

Two of our highest rated cheeses (another one being the Fromage D'Affinois). The Cambozola Blue was described by one taster as, "so good, smooth and I want to spread it all over my body!"

Reviewer comments include: "Yum, yum, yum!" "Strong and sharp, like Encylopedia Brown on steroids." "Crunchy, awkward, balanced." "Dry, sharp." "Flint, nutty, strong, acid."

I haven't averaged its stars out yet.

After eating all the cheese we skipped the focus group and went straight to "Masters of Soviet Animation, volume 1." I skipped over the focus group because it had gotten dark and I was eager to get the movie started, although I'm kind of sad I did, and some people were clearly disappointed. We will definitely have to make sure that happens next time. Maybe we need a Cheese Dominatrix to keep us on task.

But anyway, the movie worked great! The sheet-attached-to-laundry-line screen wasn't too wiggly, as I'd feared, and the sound from the "room filling" radio was perfect for the backyard. All in all, I'm feeling smug and satisfied and plan on watching all my DVDs in the backyard for the rest of the summer. I have a bunch of French movies that I intended to show last night. Come join me!

Says Kathy. Think you've got it bad with cob benches?

Here you go!

Pohzy made some new friends -- these great straw rugs which I bought for $12 each in Chinatown! Wish me luck getting them home on the airplane. Then I'll attach them to my cyclone fence for privacy. Yay!

Me and Pohzy, that's who!