Pabst Blue Ribbon Indy Hipster Dive Bar Franchise

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When I took that trip to Russia and Ghana by way of Amsterdam a few years back the cultural constants were the Peruvian pan flute bands, Abba, those woven plaid pastic shopping bags, and Irish Pubs. There are Irish pubs all over the world, apparently disseminated in part or in whole by the Irish Pub Company. Some Baffler guy wrote about this phenomenon in an essay that was reprinted in The Boob Jubilee. I don't have it in front of me, but from what I remember the essay talks about how Guinness is behind the proliferation of Irish Pubs around the world as a way to increase its markets. I personally think Guinness is kind of nasty, hot or cold.

The Irish pub franchise comes complete with Irish pub furniture
and fully branded bric-a-brac. The obvious thing is how ironic it is to try to franchise authenticity. (On the other hand, that thought reminds me of this review essay that Sallie Tilsdale wrote years ago -- can't find the cite, it ran in Harpers -- on travel books and tourism, that made the point that if tourism is what a town is selling, experiencing their tourist trap or whatever IS an authentic experience of that place. Jordan and I loved that essay so much we sent her a fan letter. She wrote back with her grandmother's recipe for artichoke dip.)

Anyhoo, point is, I think Pabst Blue Ribbon should develop a bar franchise based on Pacific Northwest dive bars for exporting around the world. Given the generally shitty economy here in the Pacific NW, they could set up their own employment agencies, just like the Irish only instead of Irish people, they'd pimp out hipsters.

You'd partner with indie click somehow. You'd sell hipster merchandize.

And, if you played your cards right, hipsters themselves would take it under their wing -- you know, ironically -- and you'd get their business, too.

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