Dog Modeling School | Main | What's in the hole??
August 24, 2005
Manual Labor-A-Cize
I have some big holes in my backyard that need to get bigger. First I had four little holes in a kind of faery circle around a slight indentation in the yard. Then the holes got bigger and bigger, and the indentation got deeper and deeper, and the drunk guy from across the street came over and pointed out that there is a pretty good chance that what's going on here is rats are burrowing up from an old septic tank that was disconnected but somehow not completely disconnected, through piles of rubble thrown into the hole to fill it, up into my backyard. I haven't actually seen the rats, but you can clearly see the holes. So what I have is a rat circle, not a faerie circle.
One hole is even bigger than normal right now because Javiar came over and started digging on it yesterday when I wasn't here. I know this because the drunk guy across the street told me. The drunk guy is actually pretty smart, although he's also a crackhead. I'm thinking of starting a neighborhood watch and making him block captain because he really knows what's going on around here. The hole is now so deep I got worried about the upstairs neighbor's poodle falling in -- really, a horrible thought -- so I put Pica's couch fence around it. This means I'll be leaving the couch at Pica's mercy today, but I'm hoping she's old enough to be trusted not to maul the furniture anymore.
Anyway, apparently what we need to do is dig down something like 8 feet, cap off the old septic tank, and fill it with 3/4- gravel. As we dig, we should be careful where we stand because there might be a big deep 12-foot hole that we could fall in. Old shit and young rats would be at the bottom of the hole.
I was kind of freaked out about all this, but then Betsy pointed out it was just digging and maybe it could be fun? I thought, well, maybe it would be a good form of exercise, which led to the following idea:
Exercise classes based on manual labor. You'd have ditch digging, fruit picking, stuff like that to choose from. The instructors would try to teach you how to do the work in an ergonomic way or just shout, "faster, faster" at you like a boss if you lagged. You'd burn calories, anyway.
First session offered at my house this weekend!
p.s. I meant to say, this is very akin to Melissa's idea for Heavy Equipment Driving Camp. Woody rented a little cat thingy this weekend and he agreed that Melissa had a great idea -- everyone wanted to take a turn on his.
Posted by mary at August 24, 2005 9:03 AM
Comments
I'd be so there, if I weren't already busy with my floorwashingercize class.
Posted by: melissa at August 24, 2005 10:14 AM
I would be more than happy to teach the fruitpickercize course. Having spent most summers of my youth picking peaches, nectarines, and plums for the family farms. Later we could combine the heavy equipment driving camp and take on the shakers that are used on nut trees (esp. almond and pistachioes). The shakers are less exercise and more like those vibrating straps from the early to mid-20th century, but hey I am happy to strap anyone in and give them directions.
Posted by: Tony at August 28, 2005 1:00 PM
I really wish there was a way to make dishwashingercize more aerobic. That would motivate me more to clean up that pile in my sink.
Posted by: Kathy at August 30, 2005 7:44 PM
By the way we had a problem like this in my neighborhood with rats...but those little bitey varmints actually chewed their way through the concrete sidewalk!
Posted by: Kathy at August 30, 2005 7:46 PM
what is the price for your training course ?
Posted by: Judy H at November 1, 2005 9:37 AM
Alas, they are all a figment of our imagination at this point, Judy, although until recently I would have said that you were free to dig holes at my house for free. But all that's done now.
Posted by: Mary at November 1, 2005 1:17 PM
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