You'd think that as loud as I have snored throughout my life (as a child and an adult, alas), I would have had some great ideas about how to stop snoring (or wait, maybe if I'd had some great ideas about how not to snore I wouldn't snore so much ... whatever). Some of you will remember my grandparents' offer to get me pastic surgery to enlarge my nose because they feared I'd never find a man because my snoring was so robust ... alas, they seem to have been proven right. But I can safely leave snoring inventions to a legion of experts.
You've got your No Snore Zone (Did you know that snoring can lead to addictions?). And why didn't I think of the Noiselezz? Or the Silent Nite? The anti-snore pillow looks more like something you'd have sex with than sleep on (not that the two can't be one and the same, I guess). For the sadist (and who wouldn't be, after sleeping with a snorer for a couple months), there's
Shock therapy for snorers.
The hippies have a gentler herbal remedy (is there nothing that herbs can't do?). Or you can try spaceflight as a solution (a little spendy, though). Here's a magnetic snore solution! TWO rare earth magnets, to be exact. "two rare-earth magnets which stimulate blood flow and keep nasal passages clear. It's comfortable and re-usable for months. You know, I think there are some things that just shouldn't be reused. But that's just me. Or, "free" excercises. According to some folks, ANY excercise will help snoring, as a reduction in even 10% of your body fat can reduce snoring by sliming up your neck. In addition to having cloaked my neck in a goodly layer of fat, I do have an enourmous tonsil, too. Oh, lord, hear my cry: I JUST WANT TO SLEEP! Well, I could always try the Nose Brace. And I wonder if they have customer testimonials? Why, yes, they do!. Pretty compelling ones, too: "I must wear my Nose Braces day and night, at work and at home. I cannot be without them." "I cannot function without it." "I don't snore and wheeze anymore." I should definitely try one! And guess what? As an added bonus, "No parts of Nose Brace stick out of your nose. Thus, it is not readily visible by others!" in fact, "In some cases, Nose Brace may actually redefine facial symmetry and improve your appearance." My favorite part of this last website, though, is all the inexplicable winter scenery stock photos). Yikes!
I've always been pretty happy with my nose, but after talking to Alexa the other night, I wonder if I have a deviated septum?
Oh my goodness! -- I didn't know being a mouth breather was such a bad thing. Deepak Chopra is telling me to stop!
Well, fortunately for me, Rachel gave me a neti pot over a year ago (THANKS FOR THE NETI POT, RACHEL!!) and after several painful experiences I finally figured out how to use it, thanks to Dave's example. And boy, is it fun! I can get a real stream of water now pouring out my nostril -- Don't know what I mean? well, here's a neti pot website that, unlike those other snoring sites, probably didn't use stock photography after all, where would you get neti pot stock photography? Where, indeed? Here's a photo that maybe didn't make it into the stock photo book. I have to admire Wes for all he tells us about what came out of his nose (warning: it's not for the squeamish!).
My netipot looks like this and it's my friend.
OK -- that's enough about snoring and my neti pot. I was sort of waiting for this to turn into a coherent narrative before posting it, but I'm feeling sickly and want to get this out of to do file. Plus, I think that neti pot stock photography is pretty sweet.
Re: neti pot web site. That girl sure is cute except for the stream of water coming out of her nose. I'd like to see what pictures they decided *not* to use, and to hear why they decided not to use them (e.g. "You can't see the water in that one," or "Her hair is messed up.").