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March 11, 2004
Buffet Anxiety
This is something I realized I suffered from after two seperate experiences with my friend and ex-boyfriend Ian.
The first experience was when his father, a doctor, hosted a party at the family compound for a bunch of other wealthy doctors. On the catering menu was barbequed lobster tails. I'd had lobster two or three times before in my life, and LOVED it (once was in Maine, the other time was at Red Lobster, and the other time I forget but I'm sure I must have had it more than twice). During the party, I found myself unable to consume as many lobster tails as was both humanly possible and seemly and so at some point -- very much like Pica and Lita -- I began hording lobster tails in the bedroom Ian and I shared when we visited his folks. I can't even remember where I put them, although I want to say under the pillows (I think that may be Lita I'm thinking of, though). What I do remember was that the next day, Ian encouraged me to forgo the remaining lobster tails given that they had sat out unrefrigerated all night. I probabably still ate a couple.
The other experience was in Germany, where I was visiting Ian while he was on fellowship. The fellowship (a DAAD which stands for something in German) included a trip to a big hotel where all the people who were visiting Germany on the DAAD that year -- 100s of them, from all over the world -- were hosted in a grand event which included music and dancing. I heard the Macarena for the first time at that event and was thought, "wow, what a great song!" and got really confused when all the people from all over the world started doing the dance, which I totally could not do -- I still can't, nor can I do the YMCA dance.
There was also a massive buffet -- multiple groaning tables and cornicopias. Ian and I had just sat down with heavily-loaded plates after one trip through it when I saw some people walk by with steaks. STEAKS! I hadn't seen the steaks. I left my overflowing plate and hurried back to the buffet. Finding that the steaks where already gone (which just reinforced my anxiety), I contented myself by loading up on other goodies. I sat back down before my two full plates, and the two women across the table from us (who were from Kazakhstan, I think) looked at my plates, looked at me, looked at each other, and smiled. I've since been told that any good Soviet would have done the same thing, but I still felt like an ugly American.
I'd had the same experience at a couple weddings Ian and I had attended, too -- there it was more focused on the shrimp platters. I remember thinking, "oh-my-god-look!! SHRIMP! better get some quick before they're gone!" and then, lo! MORE appeared! That really impressed me.
So, my formal description of the diagnosis is: it's the sweaty anxious feeling you have that if you don't get a bunch of the jumbo shrimp quick, you won't get any.
Posted by mary at March 11, 2004 7:45 PM
Comments
I like this entry. I've had problems with this myself, which I think largely comes from my inherited mentality that I got from my mom who grew up in Kansas during the Great Depression: we probably won't be able to afford shrimp so get it while the gettin's good--and free. From my compulsion to be the first one to grab some donuts at coffee hour after church as a kid to my agonizing experiences with Indian Buffet as an adult(this stuff really expands in your stomach so after two or maybe even three giant heaping platters full of masala whatever I have emerged from the restaurant on several occassions doubled over in pain) buffet anxiety is a looming issue. I still have to yell at myself in my head now to make myself NOT go back for another gigantic teetering tower of food, barely able to stay on the plate, when I'm at a buffet. I was at a fancy black tie dinner the other night (I got free tickets and it would have cost $150 dollars if I had paid--score!) and one person didn't show up at my table and it was all I could do to not eat their food too. And I can't kick this compulsion even though I actually earn a meager salary now and can buy myself the occassional shrimp if I really want to. There's just something about the bounty of the buffet that is too much to resist. In the last 4 months I went to a birthday breakfast buffet with Nelson and this is what I ate: "A slice of lamb with potatoes, parsnips and green beans, a spinach, mushroom and cheese omlette, orzo chicken salad, oysters, a mimosa, cheese and crackers, dessert pastries, some french toast and fruit." And I'd do it again, dammit!
Wish you were there, Mary!
xo, Kathy
Posted by: Kathy at March 14, 2004 1:21 PM
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